Category: Memories

Carolina Comments: All about Home

JWF 3 Comments

WHERE IS HOME?

YOUTH

One year ago this week, the Chief Penguin and I moved to North Carolina.  Our last and final home.  In our more than 50 years of married life, we have moved nine times and lived in six different states.  I was born a Michigander, but only lived in Ann Arbor for one year before my folks moved us to upstate New York.  We lived in Syracuse, and then in Quonset Point, Rhode Island, for about a year when my dad was called back to the Navy during the Korean War.  My next sibling, sister Sal, was born in the base hospital.

Hoopes Park (auburnny.gov)

 We returned to Syracuse (second sister Ann arrived) and then moved to Auburn, a small city near Owasco Lake in the Finger Lakes Region. My brother, the fourth kid and only boy in the family, made his appearance several months after this move.  Consequently, I lived here for ten years here before going away to college.

The Chief Penguin was born in Bronxville, NY, and he and his parents and two younger siblings moved around the greater Albany/Capital District area as his father advanced in the power company.  We met in college in northern New York State.  Abandoning my desire to study for my library science master’s degree at the University of Michigan (the alma mater of both parents and paternal grandparents!), I followed my soon-to-be husband to Cambridge, Massachusetts.  These several years were student years at Simmons and Harvard in a culturally exciting place.  Here we lived in a tiny graduate student apartment.

CAREER AND FAMILY

The seven years that followed in Clifton Park, an Albany, NY suburb, consisted mostly of career building; I at the University at Albany and the C.P at General Electric’s research center.  We bought our first house, a ranch house, in a quiet residential neighborhood.  I was a something of an anomaly since I was one of the few women out of the house all day with a full-time career–this was the early 1970’s.  

The birth of our son in 1979 and a job offer on the faculty at Penn for the C.P. coincided.  The local grandparents were thrilled with their new grandchild, but not so much with our impending move to the Philadelphia area.  We moved first to a house in Wallingford and then to a stone colonial home in Swarthmore, which we loved.

Swarthmore house

We worked almost 20 years at the University of Pennsylvania in Van Pelt Library (me) and the School of Engineering and Applied Science (him).  These were years rich in the joys and challenges of being parents and for the development of long-lasting friendships, several of which still thrive!

Van Pelt Library (wikipedia.com)

CAMPUS LIFE

In 1998, the Chief Penguin became president of Lehigh University, and we moved an hour north to Bethlehem, PA.  For eight years, we lived a much more public life than ever before in a Gothic-style president’s house built in 1868 and located smack in the middle of campus.  It had needed major renovation which happened before we moved in, and I had a voice in some of the furniture and fabric selections.  Being involved in this project made this grand and gracious house seem more like our home.

We both liked living there (even when the enthusiastic ROTC cadets came running by at 5:00 am) and hosted student groups, alumni, and community folks for a variety of dinners and events.  To round out my roles as library staff member and hostess, I also served on several nonprofit boards.  It was a very stimulating time for me and that house, featured in Architectural Digest in 2001, was truly home for eight years! 

GOING WEST

What do college presidents do after they are president?  Some go on to become heads of other nonprofits such as foundations or museums.  The Chief Penguin and I were comfortably situated in London for a year-long adventure with some higher education consulting for him.  Lo and behold, the California Academy of Sciences, a museum and research institute with a planetarium, aquarium, and rainforest, came knocking.  San Francisco beckoned us, and despite those who questioned, “Moving there at your age?”, we went West, young or not!  

These next seven years were fascinating both culturally and topographically (think hills and ankle-bending streets).  California is different from the East coast.  A more casual style in the workplace, wide expanses of nature (Muir Woods and wine country), and a welcoming informal spirit endeared us to this new adventure.  I enjoyed working in the Academy library and then becoming involved in and leading the lifelong learning team.  

Jackson St., San Francisco

Here we lived in the Academy’s historic house built in 1906.  Large and lovely, it was conveniently located near shops, restaurants, and a bus stop, and I never drove while there.  San Francisco thus became our home, but home with shallower roots.  I made friends through a book group and the public library’s friends’ board, but knowing we planned to move back East meant we put less effort into establishing ourselves outside of work.  Despite this, some of these friends remain Facebook friends today.

SUNSHINE STATE

When we were in our 30’s and living in suburbia (something new to us), we vowed we would never ever live in Florida.  Just a place for old folks and what about culture?  But we bought a condo on the Gulf Coast when we lived in Pennsylvania, thinking it would be our getaway place.  Then we moved to California, seldom visited Florida, and yet kept the condo.  

Tidy Island condo

Upon retirement we knew we wanted to be back East near family; our condo seemed like it might make a good home base.  It was spacious with a lovely view over Sarasota Bay, and we made some wonderful friends.  It was a very special community.  We lived here for 10 years, delighting in the abundant sunshine and the stellar theater and music scene.  But as we grew “more mature,” we realized that this setting was not the best for the longer term.

HEADING NORTH TO THE SOUTH

Trees outside our building

Hence, we find ourselves today living in North Carolina in a CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community.)  It’s a vibrant and lively community in an attractive urban setting.  We are happy here.  We have a spacious light-filled apartment, we get lots of exercise including frequent walks downtown, we have made new friends among the residents, and my two sisters and their families live not far away, a bonus.  I think it’s one of the best gifts we could have given our son and daughter-in-law!  And we now easily call Cary home!

OTHER HOMES

The Chief Penguin and I love travel and have enjoyed staying and being made to feel welcome in cities and countries around the world.  We also have what one might call secondary homes.  These are places with strong emotional ties where we have spent considerable time.  Two that come to mind are Southport, Maine, and Manhattan.  We first went to Southport in Summer 1990 for a graduate school reunion which began our yearly visits for ever longer long stretches of time.  

Southport, Maine

We visited New York City right after our wedding, and over the years, we got to Manhattan for business, and then to visit T. and J., and then to spend time with our granddaughters.  Now we spend close to two months there each year.

So, where is home?  “Home is where the heart is.” “Home is where you are loved.” “Home is not a place, it’s a feeling.”  The Chief Penguin and I have had many physical homes, but I like the idea that home is a feeling.  It’s where you are comfortable and appreciated and find friends or family.  I wonder, where and what are home for you?  

NOte: Unattributed photos ©JWFarrington (some rights reserved.) Header photo is of Golden Rain tree blossoms.

Tidy Tidbits: Lost, Missing, Unforgotten

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READING—SIOUX REVOLT IN THE WEST

The Lost Wife by Susanna Moore

Author Moore (The Guardian)

This spare historical novel focuses on events leading up to the Sioux Uprising of 1862.  It is loosely based on a memoir by Sarah Wakefield who with her children was held captive for six weeks by the Sioux Indians.  In The Lost Wife, Sarah Butts, later Brinton, leaves an abusive husband in Rhode Island and travels the long distance to the Minnesota Territory to make a new life with her good friend Maddie.  Maddie has died and Sarah marries the local doctor who is physician to tribe members at the Indian agency.  

How Sarah adapts to life among the Sioux, learns their language, and works with the women, will affect her reception later by both the white women and the tribe.  Told from Sarah’s perspective, the novel is full of details of the physical landscape and both mundane and grisly aspects of her daily life, but short on emotion.  The one exception to this is Sarah’s relationship with Chaska, one of her captors.  This relationship colors how she is treated upon release by her former neighbors and her husband.  

The novel is short, but not a fast read.  It highlights a shameful incident in the settling of the American West. (~JWFarrington)

VIEWING—UNSOLVED MURDER CASES

Unforgotten, Season 5 (PBS Masterpiece)

Jessie & Sunny (PBS)

I miss Nicola Walker.  Her role as DCI Cassie Stuart in the first four seasons was central.  She has been replaced by prickly Jessie James, played by Sinead Keenan.  DI Sunny Khan is grieving Cassie’s death and has personal issues at home.  Newbie Jessie’s dismissive approach to her team is harming morale, but she has a personal crisis of her own.  

The case of a body part found in the chimney of an empty house is complex and many layered, and some of the varied cast of suspects have complicated pasts and questionable issues.  This season has six episodes, all focused on this one case.  Despite the tension between them, Sunny, Jessie, and the team eventually solve it.  I like this series but didn’t love this season as much as previous ones.

NOVEMBER REFLECTIONS 

In the Northeast especially, November brings dark nights and cold days.  Around Election Day each year, I reflect on my father’s short but impactful life.  This year was the 50th anniversary of his death, more years gone than he lived.  And yet, he remains vivid in my memories.

November is also a time to celebrate.  Thanksgiving Day provides us with an opportunity to be mindful of and thankful for all that we have.  This year, I am especially grateful for my extended family:  son, daughter-in-law, granddaughters, siblings and their spouses, nieces and their families, and especially my Chief Penguin. 

This week we unexpectedly lost a sibling, the Chief Penguin’s brother, a doting uncle.   Siblings share experiences from their past lives; when one is gone, the puzzle is missing a piece, and a space remains unfilled.  I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving with family and friends filled with joy and love!

(Wildgoose)

Note: Header photo of November dawn ©JWFarrington (some rights reserved.)

Tidy Tidbits: Spring Things

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EASTER THOUGHTS

Girls in spring dresses

As a child, I grew up going to Sunday School and celebrating Easter in church.  Spring usually meant a new dress, but always a new spring coat.  Spring coats then were pastel colors, pale blue, yellow, or pink.  Made of lightweight wool, you wore it over a pretty dress along with a fancy hat to church on Palm Sunday and Easter.  Of course, our parents also gave us Easter baskets.  Fake straw ones with jellybeans, Peeps chicks, and little foil wrapped chocolate eggs nestled in the grass.  If you were fortunate, a good-sized cream-filled Cadbury’s egg was a bonus.

Trumpet flowers
Gorgeous tulips

Today, I welcome the coming of Easter as a sign of spring—rebirth and renewal—with a lifting of the spirits if the winter has been long and cold.  In Florida, we have some version of spring all year, but there is still something wondrous about warmer temperatures, more late light, and the bursting forth of blossoms.  

RECENT VIEWING

FROTHY CONFECTION

Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris (Amazon Prime)

Ada has a fitting (NPR)

Based on the novel, Mrs. ‘Arris Goes to Paris, by Paul Gallico and published in 1958, the latest movie version is a delight.  It’s fun and full of fashion without being too silly or overdone.  There are moments of poignancy midst Ada Harris’s dreams of a different life.  

Lesley Manville plays cleaning woman Ada Harris, a hardworking woman who dreams of owning a beautiful gown (preferably one by Dior) and whose husband never returned from the Second World War.  Nor was he declared dead, and so she is ever hopeful.  Ada saves her coins and when she receives an unexpected windfall, she trots herself to Paris and brazenly bursts into Christian Dior’s atelier.  She’s a memorable character, full of spunk, and perhaps her dream will come true. In the 1992 film, Angela Lansbury was Ada Harris.

SPYCRAFT

A Spy among Friends (MGM+)

Philby & Elliott (The Guardian)

The Chief Penguin and I read several very positive reviews of A Spy among Friends about notorious double agent Kim Philby.  Hence, we sprang for the 7-day free trial of MGM+ through Amazon Prime to watch the series.  It’s six parts and we are halfway in.  Based on a nonfiction work by Ben Macintyre, it unwinds slowly going back and forth in time.  Philby is seen primarily through the eyes of friend and fellow spy, Nick Elliott, who is being interrogated about his knowledge of Philby’s activities over their 23-year friendship.  Guy Pearce is Philby and Damian Lewis is superb in the role of Elliott.  Recommended!

Note: Flower photos and header photo from JWFarrington.

Tidy Tidbits: Political & Personal

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WATCHING: POLITICAL HISTORY

Argentina 1985 (Amazon Prime)

Prosecutor Staserra & his deputy

This political film is inspired by real events. It focuses on the groundbreaking 1985 civil trial of nine Argentine military leaders.  These individuals were charged with being responsible for the kidnappings, torture, and disappearance of hundreds of people during the country’s dictatorship period.  The main character is prosecutor Julio Stassera, a man who didn’t want the job and felt pressured into it and is also fearful.  It’s a gripping story of how Julio and his deputy and a team of young lawyers gathered accounts and assembled a group of individuals willing to testify in open court.  Recommended!

EXCAVATION: LIFE IN SCRAPBOOKS

Packrat Tendencies

I took a long trip down memory lane this past week.  I’ve made it my January project to sort, toss, and scan the contents of a closet.  This closet has essentially been untouched since we moved to Florida more than 8 years ago.  It was filled with stacked black plastic bins and one large cardboard carton. The large carton had not been opened since it was packed for a cross country move in 2007.  What I have discovered inside these boxes is a treasure trove of memorabilia going back to the 1960’s and earlier:  loose photos, scrapbooks, and photo albums. The pages in the oldest albums are fragile and crumble easily.

As a teen and through college, I was an inveterate saver and scrapbook keeper.  Every postcard I think I ever received or purchased from 1961 to about 1968, lots of programs for school plays, and concerts (Chad Mitchell Trio, for one), sports nights event lists, church choir festivals, birthday and graduation cards and selected correspondence.  To this day, I’m still a saver, but perhaps a more disciplined one.

Winter Wonders

I was reminded of the Christmas our family of six drove to Michigan with a stop in Ohio to visit cousins.  We had three Christmas celebrations, one with each set of grandparents and another with our cousins. We stayed in a motel one night each way. I saved postcards from the Tally Ho Motel in North Kingsville, Ohio (so cold a room we almost froze!) and from the Tiptop Motel in Canton, Ohio.  In Canton, we were all squeezed into the one available room.  My younger sister and brother shared a twin bed, one at each end.  The radiant heat (advertised on this postcard) was so hot, we departed at dawn’s crack.

Midst the many black and white photos were images of my siblings and me playing outside and running around with the neighbor boys (for a time, very few girls lived our street). Also black and white snow scenes of our driveway and yard after the Blizzard of ’66.  We lived in town and that was the only time I can ever remember getting three days off from school for the weather! 

I also discovered class photos and report cards from kindergarten through 4th grade from my elementary schools in Syracuse and Auburn.  I remember fondly my two favorite teachers, attractive young Miss Rosa (2ndgrade) and seeming-to-me very old, Miss Peterson (3rd grade).  Miss Peterson lives in memory for her teaching, but also for falling forward, fainting,and hitting her head on my desktop.  It was scary, but she was fine.

Scrapbook Maven

My mother had a special talent for creating noteworthy scrapbooks for anniversaries and other special occasions. I smiled and chuckled as I re-discovered these works.  The first one was for my Hancock grandparents’ 40th wedding anniversary in 1961.  It was done in the format of a magazine called ”Family Fortune” with an image of John Hancock on the cover. Contents included family photos, cartoons, and humorous anecdotes, plus letters from the grandchildren.  \

In 1972, for my other grandparents’ 50th anniversary, she designed a scrapbook as a yearbook in recognition of my grandfather’s long career at the University of Michigan. My siblings and I and our cousins contributed to both of these volumes. 

In later years, the Chief Penguin and I were the recipients of “International Cooking with Jean & Greg” on our 10th anniversary and then “Father and Son” (Dec. 1986) highlighting life with Tim.  Birthday scrapbooks followed for me (2001) and each of my siblings illustrating our individual life stories along with photos of our grandparents and great grandparents.  

Whether these volumes will be of interest to the next generations or not, they document lives well lived.  And thanks to the Chief Penguin, scanned copies will now live in the cloud. 

Note: Header image of scrapbook spread by JWFarrington (some rights reserved.)