WHERE IS HOME?
YOUTH
One year ago this week, the Chief Penguin and I moved to North Carolina. Our last and final home. In our more than 50 years of married life, we have moved nine times and lived in six different states. I was born a Michigander, but only lived in Ann Arbor for one year before my folks moved us to upstate New York. We lived in Syracuse, and then in Quonset Point, Rhode Island, for about a year when my dad was called back to the Navy during the Korean War. My next sibling, sister Sal, was born in the base hospital.
We returned to Syracuse (second sister Ann arrived) and then moved to Auburn, a small city near Owasco Lake in the Finger Lakes Region. My brother, the fourth kid and only boy in the family, made his appearance several months after this move. Consequently, I lived here for ten years here before going away to college.
The Chief Penguin was born in Bronxville, NY, and he and his parents and two younger siblings moved around the greater Albany/Capital District area as his father advanced in the power company. We met in college in northern New York State. Abandoning my desire to study for my library science master’s degree at the University of Michigan (the alma mater of both parents and paternal grandparents!), I followed my soon-to-be husband to Cambridge, Massachusetts. These several years were student years at Simmons and Harvard in a culturally exciting place. Here we lived in a tiny graduate student apartment.
CAREER AND FAMILY
The seven years that followed in Clifton Park, an Albany, NY suburb, consisted mostly of career building; I at the University at Albany and the C.P at General Electric’s research center. We bought our first house, a ranch house, in a quiet residential neighborhood. I was a something of an anomaly since I was one of the few women out of the house all day with a full-time career–this was the early 1970’s.
The birth of our son in 1979 and a job offer on the faculty at Penn for the C.P. coincided. The local grandparents were thrilled with their new grandchild, but not so much with our impending move to the Philadelphia area. We moved first to a house in Wallingford and then to a stone colonial home in Swarthmore, which we loved.
We worked almost 20 years at the University of Pennsylvania in Van Pelt Library (me) and the School of Engineering and Applied Science (him). These were years rich in the joys and challenges of being parents and for the development of long-lasting friendships, several of which still thrive!
CAMPUS LIFE
In 1998, the Chief Penguin became president of Lehigh University, and we moved an hour north to Bethlehem, PA. For eight years, we lived a much more public life than ever before in a Gothic-style president’s house built in 1868 and located smack in the middle of campus. It had needed major renovation which happened before we moved in, and I had a voice in some of the furniture and fabric selections. Being involved in this project made this grand and gracious house seem more like our home.
We both liked living there (even when the enthusiastic ROTC cadets came running by at 5:00 am) and hosted student groups, alumni, and community folks for a variety of dinners and events. To round out my roles as library staff member and hostess, I also served on several nonprofit boards. It was a very stimulating time for me and that house, featured in Architectural Digest in 2001, was truly home for eight years!
GOING WEST
What do college presidents do after they are president? Some go on to become heads of other nonprofits such as foundations or museums. The Chief Penguin and I were comfortably situated in London for a year-long adventure with some higher education consulting for him. Lo and behold, the California Academy of Sciences, a museum and research institute with a planetarium, aquarium, and rainforest, came knocking. San Francisco beckoned us, and despite those who questioned, “Moving there at your age?”, we went West, young or not!
These next seven years were fascinating both culturally and topographically (think hills and ankle-bending streets). California is different from the East coast. A more casual style in the workplace, wide expanses of nature (Muir Woods and wine country), and a welcoming informal spirit endeared us to this new adventure. I enjoyed working in the Academy library and then becoming involved in and leading the lifelong learning team.
Here we lived in the Academy’s historic house built in 1906. Large and lovely, it was conveniently located near shops, restaurants, and a bus stop, and I never drove while there. San Francisco thus became our home, but home with shallower roots. I made friends through a book group and the public library’s friends’ board, but knowing we planned to move back East meant we put less effort into establishing ourselves outside of work. Despite this, some of these friends remain Facebook friends today.
SUNSHINE STATE
When we were in our 30’s and living in suburbia (something new to us), we vowed we would never ever live in Florida. Just a place for old folks and what about culture? But we bought a condo on the Gulf Coast when we lived in Pennsylvania, thinking it would be our getaway place. Then we moved to California, seldom visited Florida, and yet kept the condo.
Upon retirement we knew we wanted to be back East near family; our condo seemed like it might make a good home base. It was spacious with a lovely view over Sarasota Bay, and we made some wonderful friends. It was a very special community. We lived here for 10 years, delighting in the abundant sunshine and the stellar theater and music scene. But as we grew “more mature,” we realized that this setting was not the best for the longer term.
HEADING NORTH TO THE SOUTH
Hence, we find ourselves today living in North Carolina in a CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community.) It’s a vibrant and lively community in an attractive urban setting. We are happy here. We have a spacious light-filled apartment, we get lots of exercise including frequent walks downtown, we have made new friends among the residents, and my two sisters and their families live not far away, a bonus. I think it’s one of the best gifts we could have given our son and daughter-in-law! And we now easily call Cary home!
OTHER HOMES
The Chief Penguin and I love travel and have enjoyed staying and being made to feel welcome in cities and countries around the world. We also have what one might call secondary homes. These are places with strong emotional ties where we have spent considerable time. Two that come to mind are Southport, Maine, and Manhattan. We first went to Southport in Summer 1990 for a graduate school reunion which began our yearly visits for ever longer long stretches of time.
We visited New York City right after our wedding, and over the years, we got to Manhattan for business, and then to visit T. and J., and then to spend time with our granddaughters. Now we spend close to two months there each year.
So, where is home? “Home is where the heart is.” “Home is where you are loved.” “Home is not a place, it’s a feeling.” The Chief Penguin and I have had many physical homes, but I like the idea that home is a feeling. It’s where you are comfortable and appreciated and find friends or family. I wonder, where and what are home for you?
NOte: Unattributed photos ©JWFarrington (some rights reserved.) Header photo is of Golden Rain tree blossoms.
